Monday, May 23, 2011

Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away ...

Well, it is Monday May 23rd and nobody I know has been raptured - Not even the most handsome Harold Camping.

Now this raises folks a few possibilities.

1. Camping was right and that a few true  ... really true .... christians have really been really really raptured!

However,  these are so very few that nobody knows who they are! And also, Harold Camping ain't one of them cos he is still around.

2. Harold may have got his maths wrong about May and the rapture is at another date which Harold may yet calculate. Some believe there are two raptures which require two different mathematical models.

Now let me see:  1 Corinthians + 2 Corinthians = 3 Corinthians ... (no that's not right uuum)


3. There is no way of calculating when the rapture may be cos Jesus said no one would know the time .... this bit is in Mark's gospel (13:32) and Matthew (24:26).

4. That there is no such thing as a rapture in the New Testament. Many Christians believe this and say the those who are rapturistic in their thinking have misinterpreted the Bible. Some go so far as to say that the rapture is a lie of the devil.

 Just like chocolate being bad for you is a filthy lie of the devil!

5. The rapture is mentioned in the inspired Bible, but it is meant to be taken figuratively.

5. ( 6 is a bad number - so we can't use it) There is no such thing as a rapture cos the Bible is just another book of religious ideas. It is not, they say to be taken literally.

7. The word rapture is in fact in code. It is decoded to an anagram ... eruptar. Harold camping is in fact going to erupt.

Of course interpreting the Bible in terms of so-called END TIME EVENTS has been the life-time hobby of many amateur theologians.

No wonder many outside the church look bemused as "Christians" prattle on about the combinations and permutations and indeed confabulations of last day rapturistic possibilities.

Time we got back to more basic theological questions like:
1. Which way is up?
2. Could heaven be down if you live in New Zealand?
3. and ....Why are two men standing on the roof opposite me? Haven't they heard the rapture is off this week?

Monday, May 16, 2011

The way you wear your hat, the way you sip your tea ...

Popped into a church the other Sunday - one of the happy-clappy sorts.  Came the time in the service when we had to meet and greet one another.

Friendly handshakes   ... St Paul's injunction to greet one another with a holy kiss is no longer in fashion.

Fella with a big warm-type motor cycle jacket came over   ... shook me hand  .... chatted and then said "now you know if you wear that hat you can't pray or prophesy  ... cos you'll dishonor God.

I, of course, was wearing my black trilby  ... as you do ... on Sunday mornings.

Now...  I am not entirely unfamiliar with the New Testament and St Paul's writings. The fella in the jacket was referring to 1 Corinthians 11:2-16.


I told the guy, that this church was then in serious trouble.

The same passage which says men should not have their heads covered also says that the women should have their heads covered.

I pointed out there was not a women in the church who was obeying that injunction of our dear St Paul.

He agreed and limped away.

The fella didn't know me from ADAM.

I spoke with the Korean pastor afterwards. His opening words were "I like your hat".  I told him of the incident. He laughed and said no such rules applied in that church.

Legalism is a reality that not only still haunts the corridors of Christianity, but also the realities of modern life. Some folks are just sticklers for the rules.

Others want to look beyond the rules to the deeper meaning   .... to the spirit of the law.

The great sufi mystic Rumi said:

"Beyond what is called good and what is called evil there is a field  .... I will meet you there."