Friday, October 29, 2010

I love, I love, I love my calendar girl, each and every day of the year ..

There's a most juicy 555 item/rumour flying around.

They say: "Do your realise October 2010 has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays, and 5 Sundays?"

Wow, is that right?

They say: Yeah and it only happens every 823 years! Wow!

Utter bunk, twaddle, rubbish, claptrap and  inexactitude folks!!

What about 1993, 1999, 2004, 2021, 2032, ... ? All of these years had (in October)  5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays, and .... (you know the rest).... 5 Sundays .... the big 555

Hardly every 823 years.... I would have thought .....

If you don't believe moi, check it out on this link.

Yet this 555 urban myth has gained some momentum?  Why?

Again, the problem is a LACK OF MATHEMATICAL NOUS in a large segment of the population.

Not you of course dear, kind and thoughtful reader.

The problem is that the person perpetrating this nonsense is lacking critical think skills.  The soul falsely reasons "gosh, how unusual ..... three days in a row... wow ... must be ever ... so very very rare ..."

The poor soul's brain is now so very receptive to the lie!! The lie can be swallowed, as they say, hook line and sinker ....

Anyhow .... lets get now to the maths:

Every year adds 1 day to the calendar.
Every leap year adds 2 days .... to the  .... ummm ..... er  calender

so take 2004 with  5 fridays, 5 saturdays and 5 sundays.

When does it happen next???

2005 (+1), 2006 (+1), 2007 (+1), 2008 (leap year +2), 2009 (+1), 2010 (+1)    this is 1+1+1+2+1+1 = +7 wowoh!

so 2010 has 5 fridays and 5 Sats and yes .... you guess it ... 5 Sundays.

Simple as that.

Friday, October 22, 2010

It's a long way to Tipperary, it's a long way to go ....


This morning, our cheery TV One breakfast hosts took great delight in telling us that the marathon is 26 miles 385 yards because that’s how far that mythical naked Greek fella ran from Marathon to Athens.



Wrong … wrong .... plain wrong…

It is in fact around 24 miles (or 38.5 km) from Marathon to Athens.

The Marathon distance was established at the London Olympics because of various contingencies that I will not go into here?

Partly right.

It was finally fixed at the 1920 Olympics and the London Olympic distance of 26 miles 385 yards (42. 195km) was chosen.

Why?

Because of the King and Queen at the London Olympics?

Not directly.

It was all because of two skinny young guys: Dorando Pietri and Tommy Hayes. Dorando the Italian was disqualified because someone gave him assistance in the final lap. Tommy Hayes the American won.
Pietri and Hayes turned professional. They started a series of epic battles over the “marathon” and the London distance was chosen for them.


In major international marathons, the runners run 26 miles, 385 yards?

No

They probably run 26 miles 431 yards.



Why?

To be safe the IAAF adds 1 extra metre for every kilometer. By the way, down in old Nu Zulun we spell it kilometer not kilometer. But that, dear reader, is another story.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

In the snow with Rosebud And king of the mountain

Head for the hills folks!!!




The Calliope Harrier season goes into recess for another year tonight. The final event - the King and Queen of the Mountain - takes place tonight.

To be honest it is only a hill really!

We queue up at the bottom of Colonial Road.


We set off at five second intervals and make our journey up the mountain - some 1200 metres.

No ... not vertically!!

Some run ... others walk .... others crawl ...still others ....

Here's the Elevation

 For some reason Map My Run have the vertical axis in feet and the horizontal axis in metres.

The total rise is almost exactly 100  feet (30.5 m) in the space of 1.2 km. Now it may not sound much. But come and try it.

It is a solid climb.

It feels like this

Friday, October 15, 2010

Cause I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love ....

What does QE stand for folks?

Queen Elizabeth?    Wrong!

QE stands for Quantitative Easing.  "Quantitative what?", I hear you ask.

Yes that is the expression plastered all over the business reports on the news.

Now it bears some resemblance to the Conservative Christian view of Creation. Creation ex nihilo "out of nothing".

In order to combat deflation, governments create money ex nihilo.  It the old days, banks would have had to print money. Now it is more electronic "smoke and mirrors".

Now if they are going to create money out of nothing, Why can't they give me some of it. It wouldn't hurt anyone!!

 Money suits my hands. It fits into my wallet with ease.

I have been told that the color of the $100 note suits my complexion.



So let me be Ernest ... give me some of that Quantitative Easing  ... I'll split it with you.


I could even give you a note or two.

The Bank of England recently Quantitatively eased 200 billion pounds.

Surely, they could spare a little for me!!

Here's pictures of what I envisage should happen. In this picture     I am at the front of the queue!!

Money makes the world go round ......... that clinking, clanking sound ....

Friday, October 8, 2010

Silver hair and heart of gold, What a pleasure to behold.....

What is this penchant (desire) of Nu Zulunurs for silver medals at the commonwealth games?

What is this unholy fascination with the greyness of silver.

It is becoming a Nu Zulun media mantra that ... "we have won another silver medal".

Folks we are 14th on the medal table.    This is not good. In fact ... it is bad. ... very bad.

Nauru is ahead of us! Nauru with a population of less than 10, 000!!!!!

Now Nauru may only have one medal .... but ..... by hokey ..... it is gold!

Now for Nu zulun ..... Do they only want a tiny sliver of the action by gaining silver?

Are their livers impaired?

It's reliving a nightmare from the last games. It sends a shiver slightly down my spine!

Why are we constantly staring at the back of an Australian green and gold uniform?

I'll tell you why. Yes I will.

The Australians as you know know how to train as a team of athletes in their different codes. And in those teams they develop a winning mentality. They create a positive energy which plays out on the track or pool or ... wherever they compete.

(Yes there are supposed to be two knows in a row  don't you know)

We kiwis tend to train as individuals (apart from, of course, the team sports - and it is precisely in those where we will win those elusive golds folks).

For example, the Aussies are so very awesomely much better than us at Race Walking.

"Why?" I can hear you ask .... tell us why .... It is because their race walkers train as a team.

One reason, that in the old days, Snell and Halberg won gold is that they trained as part of a larger team - Lydiard's boys.

Now we Nu Zulunurs are very fragile emotionally.

When we lost the last world rugby cup in 2007 a national season of clinical depression was declared.

We lead the world in Prozac per-capita.  ... yes we do.  (gold medalists we are - pass the pills dear).

So pray for us poor silvers that we may yet get a gold medal..... our mental health depends upon it!!!!!!!!

Golden slumbers kiss your eyes, smiles awake you when you rise .............

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Make 'em laugh Make 'em laugh Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?

Paul Henry. The very name now causes consternation among many Nu Zulundurs.

But not I.   or is it me?

Yesterday, Paul, a Breakfast Show host made some unfortunate remarks with reference to our Governor General, Anand Satyanand, as to his credentials as a "real Nu Zulundur". And when were we going to have someone as Governor General who "looked like a Nu Zulundur".

Well folks, the remarks were made in a live TV conversation with none other that John Key, Prime Munuster of Nu Zulun.

It went over like the proverbial lead balloon. It was received by many in the public with the same delight as having  toenails taken off without anesthetic. 

There was uproar.

It was calumny of the first order - pure and simple.

Now I want to say. He was wrong ... yes folks he were wrong!

But I wish to offer, on his behalf, some mitigation

Follow me now dear reader dear.

Paul is a funny man. His humour is spontaneous, extemporaneous and, yes, at times outrageous. He makes me laugh. And believe me that takes some doing.

He operates the comedic genre very well indeed. 

It is the genre of the stand up comic, who can say outrageous things in the comedy club - tongue-in-cheek.  The humour is ironic. It points out all our foibles. It makes us look at ourselves.

Paul also has to operate another more formal genre: That of the  TV host on a morning TV News, current affairs and human interest programme. 


It is precisely because he does well at both that TVNZ (Tuluvusion Nuzulun) hire the man.


The trouble is at times, Paul confuses the two genres. It is exactly that that lands him in hot water.

Yes, there are supposed to be two thats in a row. 

He has apologized, now give the guy a break .... until the next time  ....