Cause I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love ....

What does QE stand for folks?

Queen Elizabeth?    Wrong!

QE stands for Quantitative Easing.  "Quantitative what?", I hear you ask.

Yes that is the expression plastered all over the business reports on the news.

Now it bears some resemblance to the Conservative Christian view of Creation. Creation ex nihilo "out of nothing".

In order to combat deflation, governments create money ex nihilo.  It the old days, banks would have had to print money. Now it is more electronic "smoke and mirrors".

Now if they are going to create money out of nothing, Why can't they give me some of it. It wouldn't hurt anyone!!

 Money suits my hands. It fits into my wallet with ease.

I have been told that the color of the $100 note suits my complexion.

So let me be Ernest ... give me some of that Quantitative Easing  ... I'll split it with you.


I could even give you a note or two.

The Bank of England recently Quantitatively eased 200 billion pounds.

Surely, they could spare a little for me!!

Here's pictures of what I envisage should happen. In this picture     I am at the front of the queue!!

Money makes the world go round ......... that clinking, clanking sound ....

Silver hair and heart of gold, What a pleasure to behold.....

What is this penchant (desire) of Nu Zulunurs for silver medals at the commonwealth games?

What is this unholy fascination with the greyness of silver.

It is becoming a Nu Zulun media mantra that ... "we have won another silver medal".

Folks we are 14th on the medal table.    This is not good. In fact ... it is bad. ... very bad.

Nauru is ahead of us! Nauru with a population of less than 10, 000!!!!!

Now Nauru may only have one medal .... but ..... by hokey ..... it is gold!

Now for Nu zulun ..... Do they only want a tiny sliver of the action by gaining silver?

Are their livers impaired?

It's reliving a nightmare from the last games. It sends a shiver slightly down my spine!

Why are we constantly staring at the back of an Australian green and gold uniform?

I'll tell you why. Yes I will.

The Australians as you know know how to train as a team of athletes in their different codes. And in those teams they develop a winning mentality. They create a positive energy which plays out on the track or pool or ... wherever they compete.

(Yes there are supposed to be two knows in a row  don't you know)

We kiwis tend to train as individuals (apart from, of course, the team sports - and it is precisely in those where we will win those elusive golds folks).

For example, the Aussies are so very awesomely much better than us at Race Walking.

"Why?" I can hear you ask .... tell us why .... It is because their race walkers train as a team.

One reason, that in the old days, Snell and Halberg won gold is that they trained as part of a larger team - Lydiard's boys.

Now we Nu Zulunurs are very fragile emotionally.

When we lost the last world rugby cup in 2007 a national season of clinical depression was declared.

We lead the world in Prozac per-capita.  ... yes we do.  (gold medalists we are - pass the pills dear).

So pray for us poor silvers that we may yet get a gold medal..... our mental health depends upon it!!!!!!!!

Golden slumbers kiss your eyes, smiles awake you when you rise .............

Make 'em laugh Make 'em laugh Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?

Paul Henry. The very name now causes consternation among many Nu Zulundurs.

But not I.   or is it me?

Yesterday, Paul, a Breakfast Show host made some unfortunate remarks with reference to our Governor General, Anand Satyanand, as to his credentials as a "real Nu Zulundur". And when were we going to have someone as Governor General who "looked like a Nu Zulundur".

Well folks, the remarks were made in a live TV conversation with none other that John Key, Prime Munuster of Nu Zulun.

It went over like the proverbial lead balloon. It was received by many in the public with the same delight as having  toenails taken off without anesthetic. 

There was uproar.

It was calumny of the first order - pure and simple.

Now I want to say. He was wrong ... yes folks he were wrong!

But I wish to offer, on his behalf, some mitigation. 

Follow me now dear reader dear.

Paul is a funny man. His humour is spontaneous, extemporaneous and, yes, at times outrageous. He makes me laugh. And believe me that takes some doing.

He operates the comedic genre very well indeed. 

It is the genre of the stand up comic, who can say outrageous things in the comedy club - tongue-in-cheek.  The humour is ironic. It points out all our foibles. It makes us look at ourselves.

Paul also has to operate another more formal genre: That of the  TV host on a morning TV News, current affairs and human interest programme. 


It is precisely because he does well at both that TVNZ (Tuluvusion Nuzulun) hire the man.


The trouble is at times, Paul confuses the two genres. It is exactly that that lands him in hot water.

Yes, there are supposed to be two thats in a row. 

He has apologized, now give the guy a break .... until the next time  .... 

Vexed again Perplexed again Thank God I can't be over-taxed again....

 Down in good old new Zealand our GST (goods and services tax) is about to change.

It is today 12.5%

Tomorrow it will be 15%

Ahh I hear some say 15% - now that will be an easy calculation than 12.5%

Not so dear reader. Why you ask?   Because 12.5% is 1/8 (as a fraction).

Whereas 15% is 3/20

To calculate GST on a price all you did for many years was multiple by 1/8

Thus cheapo car   GST exclusive = $1000.  GST to be added   1000x1/8 = $125.  New price $1125

(Although I prefer the direct 1000x 1.125 = $1125 as the quick way)


Now we have at present the following situation here in NU ZULUN

Cheapo car. $1000 (GST exclusive)      and  $1125 (GST 12.5% inclusive)

Now we have to find Price a 15% GST for the said cheap car.

Well if you start with $1000 (GST exclusive) it is plain driving!!!

1000 x 1.15 = $1150.   No problem.    Easy peasy and all that sort of thing by jingo.

But folks what if you want to calculate the price (15% GST) when you start with the 12.5% inclusive GST car?   ahhh there's the rub!

Do you simply go 1125 x 1.025 (that is adding the extra 2.5% GST)   oh dear no no no dear me no

Becos ....  1125 x 1.025 =  $1153.13   oh dear you see that is $3.13 too much.

But I suspect some will do just that.  The lying, scheming, scamming, cheating two-timing  ...

What is the answer to the question how do we  convert $1125 (GST 12.5% inclusive) to $1150 (GST 15%)?

Answer 1125 x 1.02222222222 = 1149.9999999 which is as good as $1150.

AAAh but some say we want a fraction ....we want a fraction  ... we want a fraction ...!

What is 1.0222222 as a fraction?

Well the fraction 5,111,111 over 5,000,000 has been suggested.



Question: How do I convert a price at 12.5% GST Inclusive to one at 15% GST????

Answer:  Multiply it by 1.02222222   (not 1.025!)

Thanks to our national government.

To sum up: A 2.5% gst increase is a 2.22% increase on current prices in the shops.

'The doggies bawl - and bawl and bawl
Deep in the heart of Taxes'.

Bus stop, wet day, she's there, I say Please share my umbrella Bus stop, bus goes, she stays, love grows Under my umbrella

It happened twice yesterday and once this morning.
It was the same driver.

The bus sometimes tends to not stop at the bus stop. The driver is caught in a momentary trance.


The result is yet more forlorn passengers standing at the exit watching forlornly their bus-stop whizzing by (relatively speaking).

The first incident yesterday along Hurstmere Road, featured two rather squat and plump young teenage girls hoping the driver would hear their silence as their bus stop raced by.

Well she didn't. Finally about 300 metres past the stop, the driver became aware with some other passengers muttering at her.

The girls got off, to tackle the long walk home. One passenger wryly remarked that the exercise would do them good.

The next incident came at ... yes you guessed it ... my lovely bus stop. As soon as I ascertained the certain potential long march (aplologies to Mao), I yelled a hearty stop!. The bus ground to a halt about 10 metres past my bus stop.

The third incident happened this morning. Again, two young woman ... yes... staring forlornly and silently at the exit as their bus stop sprinted by (relatively speaking) .

I moved into action. Stop! I cried. The bus ground to a stop. The two young ladies were saved.

The lesson, silence is golden ... but it won't stop a bus.

Yell or walk.

Never never change ... Keep that breathless charm. Won't you please arrange it ?

What's in a name?

Thus spake Will .... "What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

So with the Delhi games in Jeopardy one Sheila Dikshit has taken over. How unfortunate ... and I speak as a sociolinguist ... that a perfectly ordinary name in one language ... does not ... spell... well  ... quite so nice in another language.

Apparently the correct pronunciation is "Dixit"

I wonder what some English names might 'mean' in other languages?

They tell me that Brad Pitt has problems with his surname in Swedish. Who is they?

Now far be it from me to be culturally insensitive.

Many stars of stage and scream screen have changed their names from the mundane to the unforgettable that's what you are ...

Cliff Richard was of course once Harry Rodger Webb.

Elton John entered the world as  Reginald Kenneth Dwight

Cary Grant was none other than Archibald Alexander Leach 

and Frank Sinatra was born  Francis Albert Sinatra ... aah some people get all the luck....

and as they say .... the list goes on   ......

My challenge to you dear reader! if you became a famous celebrity over night ...fat chance ... what name would you delicately select for your good self?

Go to the comments below right now and let me know. 

And let me know what Pitt means in Swedish     if you dare.

I wonder should I go or should I stay...?

The fate of the 2010 Commonwealth games in New Delhi seems balanced on a knife edge.

"To go or not to go" is the all-consuming interrogative haunting the the News in Nu Zulun.

or as the great Athlete Englebert Humbledick sang:

 "I wonder should I go or should I stay" in a song aptly named The last waltz

it's  Humperdinck ya great twit!



But folks... ya just got to feel for the athletes, especially those like Valerie Adams and Nick Willis who have top chances of medaling.

Since the Beijing Olympics, they have been focused on this goal.

Now folks as a semi-distinguished athlete myself, I have a tremendous personal insight into what it takes to stay motivated and focused through rain, wind, snow (well maybe not snow), hail, fire (well maybe not fire), heat, cold, and injury ...

oh yes and then there's mud!     and hail ... don't forget hail.

 ... And stay true to the goal.

... and right now as they (Adams and Willis) enter the final phase of preparation ... all this kerfuffle, uncertainty and perhaps a hint of anxiety!

Can they stay true to their goal? Will they be allowed to stay true to their goals? (Will the Nu Zulun Rugby sevens get to score any goals?)

A number of overseas athletes are beginning to pull out.

One problem is that the media sensationalize things. It is their job I suppose.

I lived and worked in the southern Philippines for six years. Apart from a number of very serious incidents, I felt wonderously safe folks.

Yet, if you judged by news reports in New Zealand, the Philippines seems a very dangerous place.

Let the games begin!

Would you like this dance?

???

Just once in a lifetime There's one special moment One wonderful moment When fate takes your hand

The 1500 metres has been considered the blue ribbon event on the Olympic Track and Field program.

The little country of Nu Zulun has done well in the event. Jack Lovelock, Peter Snell, and John Walker all won gold medals - Nick Willis a silver, and Rod Dixon - bronze. Have I missed any?  Ahh yes, John Davis -bronze.

Now that's quite a haul folks!

But today I want to pay tribute to another even smaller country, Luxembourg, and a man who had his moment in the sun - Joseph (Josy) Barthel.

Roger Bannister  (177), was the hot favourite for the 1952 Helsinki 1500 metre title. He was one of a group of athletes trying to stake out a claim on the first sub-four-minute mile. He finally accomplished in May 1954 with a 3:59.4 posting.

However, in Helsinki, Roger was right royally spooked or psyched-out as we say today.

What happened you ask? Well, it goes like this. Roger was expecting two races. The elimination round and a final. Roger trained accordingly as you do.

Late on in the piece, it was announced that a semi-final would need to be held because of the number of entrants.

"Ouch" said Roger, "I haven't trained for this".

Words that no athlete should ever utter folks!

Enter stage right one Josy Barthel (ninth in the London 1500 metre final - 4 years prior).

He was an outsider, but on the day, the man from Luxembourg was magnificent.

No one could match his devastating finish. And just look at the smile on his face - it suggests consummate ease! He smashed Lovelock's Olympic record with a 3:45.2.

Cometh the hour - cometh the man.

Well, of course in Luxembourg, he became a national hero overnight.

A stadium was named after him. Stade Josy Barthel - the national stadium of Luxembourg.

Wonder if they'll ever name a stadium after me???

oh....  ya daft apeth!




Source of above photo: IOC

You must have been a beautiful baby, cos baby look at you now....

Well I made it folks! 60 today!

That's me on the left almost 60 years ago.

17 years have now past.










30 years




I stop cutting my hair at 30 and the result is below!!

Baby look at you now! 

The lad's got
  NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER

Try to remember the kind of September ....

It was way back on September 13th, 1950, that I came into the world as a part of a two-for-the-price-of-one deal.

Less technically, I was a twin - 10 minutes behind my dear departed brother. Two things come out of this mathematically.

1. I was conceived in the midst of a cold winter Christmas in merry old England maybe late December or early January).

2. I am about to turn 60. (ah!!! the wonders of advanced mathematics!). See just what you can do with numbers!

Many a great person was born on the 13th of September, including the great 5 times-Olympic-gold-medalist-sprinter, Michael Johnson. (don't ya just love hyphens!!!!)

But somehow, much to my chagrin  my name is not on this here list of famous people born on September 13th - -

perhaps it is just a typographical error ..... or a mere silly oversight .....  or something more malicious!     Don't be so paranoid lad!

This site details in great detail the intimate details from the period just prior to my conception to my actual entry into this world. (be careful .... the word sperm is mentioned!!!!!!!  but not other vital players in the game  --- you will be relieved!!!)

Being of a nervous disposition at the best of times, I have been known to bite the odd nail or so (but always my own nails). Apparently, if I had never bitten, chewed or cut my nails since I was born, they (my nails) would be

2.961 metres long next Monday. (Charming thought)

My hair would be 8.743 metres long.

So what famous events happened on my birthday?

Michelangelo started work on his statue of David  (1503)

The Star-Spangled Banner   was written by Francis Scott Key. (1814)

The temperature in the shade hit 57.8 centigrade someplace in Libya (1922). Now that real global warming folks!

I finish with a quote from one born on September 13, Sherwood Anderson, who in a moment of post-modern madness said:

" That in the beginning when the world was young there were a great many thoughts but no such thing as truth. Man made the truths himself and each truth was a composite of a great many vague thoughts".

One last thought ,
 I may be 60 in base 10

but ..... I am am only:

50 years old in base 12!! 

40 in base 15

30 in base 20

20 in base 30

10 in base 60

oh joy   !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!