Winston weariness

The country of Nu Zulun is suffering from Winston weariness. The never-ending stupefying saga of “who gave what to NZ First and who knew about it” has driven thousands across these three fair islands to abandon newspapers and give up watching the news on television.

While the media have a field day in their feasting frenzy, fatigue is all that is registering with “ordinary Nu Zulundus”.

Exhausted kiwis are taking refuge from the tedium by watching paint dry, sewing tight any loose buttons, cutting their lawns with a pair of small scissors and collecting haggis recipes.

Where, they ask, have the heady days of “Man bites dog” gone?