Friday, May 1, 2009

Tammy, Tammi, Tami's in love ...

Who sang the song and in what movie? Winner gets a free dose of expired Tamiflu! Oseltamivir phosphate is just the thing to buck you up!

How does Nu Zulun stop the spread of the “killer” flu? Well, we become the only country in the world to make Tamiflu available over the counter at the chemist. But you have to present with symptoms. So we invite all those with raging fevers, hacking sore throats and non-stop coughing to congregate in their masses at the local pharmacy to collect their dose and meanwhile infect all the other shoppers and the beloved pharmacist.

We stay come out wherever you are! Bring your infection and spread it on the buses and in shops.

Oh, and perhaps some of you, the panicky among you, can also queue up, pretend you have symptoms and get your supply. Go for a run before you arrive at the chemist so your face is red. That will get your pulse up too - a key feature of a fever. Better still, wear a mask and cough intermittently. In fact, some of you would be better of with a mask all the time - flu season or not.

"You seem fine my dear"
"Oh no, I feel so awful ... it's a swine of a fever"

The end result – chemist shops shut all over the country due to pharmacists down with the flu (whatever variety) after continual, repeated exposure.

The chemist shop could become an incubator for all kinds of diseases to mix and co-habit as fever stricken patients descend in their hordes.

Well done Nu Zulun! Clever idea.

1 comment:

Darryl said...

cough cough splutter splutter