Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I .......

Time to resolve, vow, declare and fully intend to do better and be better.

Yes, it is resolution time again.

Many years ago, I made a New Year’s resolution: Never make another News year’s resolution!

May I say folks – it has been rather easy to keep.

I heartily recommend it.

Why don’t we try New Year’s absolutions, dissolutions, or better still convolutions.

The last one I really like: New Year's Convolutions. It has a ring -a ding ding to it.

Take time this year to make things far more complicated than they ever needed to be. People will thank you for your convolutions.

Obscure, obfuscate,confound and confuse issues to your heart's content.

Bewilder and bamboozle people and they will admire you deeply.

It is the surest way to make sure nothing is accomplished.

Anyhoo, Happy New Year, dear reader.

My secret love’s no secret anymore……

It is time for that great Calliope secret to a great performance - secret training.

We will have barely scraped into 2010 when a couple of key events will confront the New Zealand race walking community.

The first, on January 10th, will be a 20 km trial to select teams of four men and four women to compete in an inaugural Trans-Tasman challenge against an under 23 Australian team.

The second, on February 22nd, will be the actual Trans-Tasman test in Hobart. It will be the first time in around 28 years that a New Zealand Australia challenge has taken place.

This blogger is hoping to front up in the January 10 trial. Although the men’s qualifying time of 1hr 50 is somewhat beyond my current race walking talents, the trial will be an opportunity to improve on my personal best in trying to approach the 2 hr mark.

I am entering a phase of  secret training  for the event.

We Calliope athletes are renown for secret training!

I am hoping my friend Tyrell, one of the great  secret trainers of all time will give me tips on how to keep my  secret training a secret – cos  this here blog certainly isn’t helping!

The picture below shows me out on one of my secret training sessions.

Now I hear you saying "where the heck is he?"

Well folks, that's a secret!!

What a wonderful world...

The il mondo trophy event is very arguably the most significant event on the race walking calendar. Once again this year, only the most elite walkers fronted up to Greenwoods corner for this auspicious occasion.


It involves 3 laps of a 2 km circuit which for the most part is either downhill or uphill. Someparts were particularly steep as the photo on the left makes clear.

Drama unfolded near the beginning as David gained a significant early lead on Mike. Yours truly fell in well behind Brooke and Alana to occupy fifth spot. Mike soon caught David and lead by almost 3 minutes at the finish.

Meanwhile back among hoi polloi walkers, an epic battle was being fought out for third place. By some Christmas miracle I caught the two lovely ladies during the second lap. The crowds were aghast in amazement. People on roofs clapped and ovated.

Up the final steep section we strove and strode stride for stride. I carefully explained to the girls that the sand was wet because the seaweed. This knowledge seemed to upset their rhythm. The tension was palpable.

At the finish it was a dead heat for third as these here results testify.

After the obligatory radio and TV interviews, we adjourned to a local coffee bar to plan the next great race.

You've come such a long way With no one to comfort you Or to tell you you're needed .....

The Calliope Athletic Club wound up for the year with its prize giving and Christmas party last Wednesday night.

Prior to the party, two events captured the imagination of the crowd: a one mile run followed by a one mile walk.

(For those of you brought up in the decimal age – one mile is 1609 metres to the nearest metre.)

Doing these mile events brought tears to many of the more mature athletes as they remembered those halcyon imperial days of old when they were fleet of foot.


It is an established rule in the club, that those aforementioned mature athletes may not have the assistance of their zimmer frames. However, a special zimmer frame race is envisioned as a future possibility.

Over 35 athletes (aged between 9 and 72) competed in the two events. Rod, the meeting director and astute timekeeper, deftly recored all times to one-hundredth of a second (as you do).

My friend Mike won the mile walk in 7:30 (a time not to be sneezed at). Yours truly managed a sound 8:25, passing the 1500 in 7:50.

Then it was on to the prize giving. Allan and Peter handed out cups and shields left, right and center. Certificates flew in all directions. Sandra brought a wheelbarrow for her collection.

Particularly notable was the fact that the marathon walk championship cup (won by Dave) was twice the size of the half marathon walk cup.  - ponder that folks!

Then a rather raunchy, risqué Santa turned up to dispense $10 secret gifts to the gathered Calliope congregation.

Finally came the hour of separation. We couldn't speak.

It had all been too much ....

Poor, poor Joseph, what'cha gonna do? Things look bad for you, hey, what'cha gonna do?

The poster has certainly caused some consternation in the Christian ranks.
Actually, the poster allows me to introduce an interesting topic - well interesting to me anyhooo.

SEMIOTICS

Semiotics is the study of how meaning in constructed through signs and symbols.

Signs and symbols include things like "ordinary language", logos, and pictures. The semiotics of traffic lights are fairly obvious.

Now those who rant and rave about the above poster, don't really appreciate semiotics.

The poster has a number of elements that contribute to its meaning: The words, the pictures, the relationship of the words to the pictures.

But there are other issues as well. The viewer/reader brings his/her own understandings to the interpretation.

Also the poster exists within larger contexts of culture and a range of other texts - the main one being the Bible.

So the first thing that must be said is that interpretations will be many and varied.

And that is precisely why this poster is of value at this time of year. It promotes discussion. It sidelines santa!

However, look at the semiotics of this next image!

How might it be interpreted?

And this last one from Japan.

I'll be home for Christmas, you can count on me ....

What is it about Christmas that brings out the nicest and nastiest in folks?

Christmas can be fuming, fiery blend. It is a time of unsurpassed unrealistic expectations and mind-bending nostalgia. All of this can be a recipe for stress, loneliness, disappointment and an acute sense of loss when loved ones are no longer around.

Now I am starting to sound just a smidgen negative and I don’t want to.

Perhaps there are two Christmas stories running at the same time:

1. The rather inconvenient story of the humble baby from Nazareth, born in a barn. The one who clearly enunciated that the way to happiness was to seek a both transcendent yet internal reality and presence that could not be gained by any temporal reliance on materialistic external factors.

2. Then there is that other story. Our own individual story that we concoct in our heads about just how our Christmases should (must?) be. “This Christmas Story” is fed by unceasing commercial and media propaganda. The story, more often than not, repeats the mantra that our personal happiness depends on external factors: presents, goodies, events, people and everything going perfectly (or at least semi-swimmingly).

So it seems at Christmas there is a quintessential clash of narratives. I confess, like many others, I often find myself caught swinging between the two stories.

Perhaps it is a clash between presence and presents.

still remains within the sound of silence ...

Tinnitus. Now that’s a nasty little word folks.

If a young person asks me for a good career to go into, I say audiology. Get into the hearing aid game cos the demand is going to go up in the next few years.

How do I know this? (you ask) Well, if you travel to work by bus each day, it is a very easy deduction to make.

At least one third of the bus is securely buttoned into their ipods. And a tidy numbers of these tuned-in people have their ear-phones rattling, hissing and shaking. Indeed, there can be people many seats away and yet this guzzling, grating and grunting of ear-phones is easy to hear over the traffic and engine noise.

Now folks, a simple deduction or three can be made.

Firstly, they are tuned into a decibel level of around ten million; whereas the threshold of pain is 140.

Secondly, a key reason for this is that the young person is already partially deaf.

 And thirdly, the persons in question are prime candidates for tinnitus and early onset deafness in the prime of their pulchritude.

Now tinnitus is prove postive that silence can be very noisy. It is an intense and often very upsetting ringing in the ears. The most common cause is noise induced hearing loss.

Just how bad are ipods for your future hearing prospects? This article makes for sober reading.

Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen friendly old girl of a town ….

The song was from the film Hans Christian Anderson. Danny Kaye sang it.

Han’s Christian Andersen was of course a great writer of fairly tales. How he would have loved to be in Copenhagen and attend the Climate Change Conference!

We are being called upon to be the generation that saves the planet! Wow! Heady stuff!

Don't ya just love a challenge!

There will probably be readings from the Climate Change Bible - the latest IPCC report.

The faithful will flock to Copenhagen - imagine the Carbon Footprint. No doubt the great apostle will be there, Al Gore.

Mike Moore in a recent Nu Zulun Heruld article warns of the danger of allowing the Climate Change "message" to reach the status of a religious faith. He points out how a judge in England "ruled that an employee's green views should be protected under legislation that makes it unlawful to discriminate because of someone's religious beliefs".

And I know the lucky old sun, he's got nothing to do ....But roll around heaven all day

I do belief in climate change, but I don't think we take the real cause seriously enough.

Walking back to happiness woopah oh yeah yeah ...

Pedestrianism. Now folks there's a strange old word. It was all the rage in New Zealand in the latter part of the 19th century.

The word occasionally referred to running and walking in general. But more often than not it denoted long distance walking races between professional athletes. And of course the general public placed wagers on these reknowned professional athletes.

These competitive walking events can be traced back to the late 16 century in England.

The above is an article from the Evening Post of January 26th 1889.

The fact that they covered almost 100 miles or 169 km in 15 hours is rather staggering. They were cutting out 11.26 km every hour or 5 min 20 per kilometres. That means they would have passed the 50 km mark in 4hr 26 mins.

Clearly they may have had a somewhat loose definition of walking in those days and we can well suppose from these times that a good deal of running was involved in this particular race. Or perhaps the writer of the article got it wrong and it was a 24 hour race. Some of these events were labelled "Go as you please" and some were more strict.

There were international competitions. Here is one from the Evening Post of February 14th 1888. The times and distances in this case seem far more reasonable. Or one might assume that things were stricter in the Home country (as the colonials referred to England in those days).

Hancock and Scott had many competitions over the years, both in England and New Zealand. In this case Scott covers 64 miles in 12 hours or some 108 km. And that is still getting along at a very good clip indeed.

Some of these competitions were indoors with laps as short as 80 yards and covering over 70 miles! Now work out how many laps you would have to do! Hawera and Normanby Star, December 1st 1883.

We will leave the last word to Laurie who walked just under a marathon in 5 hrs and 6 mins. Evening Post 22nd October, 1885.

And that is Frank the pedestrian signing off ...

Those funny, familiar, forgotten feelings ….

Nostalgia – what a great word! Say it a few times and get the feeling of it.

The last night of the proms is a celebration of Britishness – an unbridled display of nostalgia for the Empire on which the sun was never supposed to set.

It is of course shameless and shameful. For the British colonial enterprise is something which still leaves a profound legacy of inequity and injustice across the globe.

That legacy, that Empire of old, is full of incredible contradictions.

On the Last Night of the Proms, such contradictions are shoved aside. Rose coloured glasses are compulsory attire. The grand old songs are trotted out.

Britannia still rules the waves.


The feet still in ancient times walk upon England’s mountains green.


Wider still and wider shall thy bounds be set.

The Union Jack is unfurled and waved and we are all transported to the glory days.

The proverbial lump rises in the proverbial throat.

Some of us celebrate our own version of Britishness.

In the end, what legacy is really left? Well my friends, what really is left is the language you are, at this moment, reading. The Empire is long gone, but English is the most important language on this globe and that fact simply cannot be denied. With incredible mongrel-like qualities (like a vacuum cleaner, sucking up all it its way), it has won the linguistic day.

By the way, it is probably the only language in the world that has or needs a thesaurus and I invite you, ask you, beg you, petition you, beseech you, implore you, and entreat you to consider this fact.

Mind you folks, all this seemed lost on the old gentleman who sat in front of me on Saturday night (at the proms) and rustled a plastic bag throughout a soft romantic piece.

One day when we were young, one beautiful morning in May ....

Now those among ye my loyal readers what knows me well

will not believe this confession I'm about to tell...

I was in a remedial reading class in the fourth form.
"get away!" I hear ye yell.

No … it is true … along with Bradley Melville and some other slow learners (as they were labelled in those days of yore).

It happened like this …
One day in class (a beautiful May morning it was), without warning we were given a reading test. I guess I was not in the mood that day … and I did not pass the standard required. (That boy is not up to scratch they muttered and mumbled)

So once or twice week, I was removed from regular class and put in remedial reading. Quite Frankly, I had no idea what was going on … so my self-esteem stayed intact. In fact, with my state of mind in those days, I thought it was a class for gifted children!!!

I was just too busy enjoyed my running, the school play and the cut and thrust of the debating society and generally trying to be famous together with my old pal Graham who became a amateur journalist of some notoriety.

And didn’t Albert Einstein fail at high school – bet he was in a remedial reading class too!

Dr Sir Peter Snell was no genius either at school I hear…

Strangely, I came top in the class in English that year and top over all. My prize? A copy of short stories by … now what was the name of the guy?

Aaah yes …. Guy de Maupassant. Who incidently, is an extremely distance relative of mine!

Youv’e gotta hand it too Minister Anne Tolley (another extremely distance relative).

She’s pressing ahead with this national standards approach for primary schools (years 1 to 8). This is in spite of what leading educationalists from a number of Nu Zulun universities have to say .

I have heard her interviewed on TV and I have to say – not impressive.

Anyhoo click here to remedially read what they have to say about Tolley’s folley.

Anne Tolley has also moved to cut expert advisory service for a number of subjects including science and physical education.

And didn't we have all this Bruhaha about standards testing 10 years ago?
Anyhoo time to get trained to teach remedial maths, reading, writing .... too late to become famous again, I guess.

AAAh those were the days my friend back in the old remedial reading class with Bradley!!!

Show me the way to go home, I’m tired and I wanna go to bed …

It gets a little that way after a half marathon.

However, folks I have found the magic potion that will instil in the athlete a wickedly fast recovery.

It is not some fancy electrolyte drink. It is a bottle of Coopers Stout. Now I am not given to advertising on this site – but in this case I make the exception.

750 ml must be imbibed with in 1 hour of completing the event. Not only will aches and pains miraculously vanish, but the next day you will bounce back to your training regime as though you had not even competed.

It was the Kerikeri half marathon. Here are the results for the competitive walkers section in which I competed.

The good and bads of the Kerikeri half
Goods
* Very well organised (can't be faulted)
* Great marshalling
* Very strict with the competitive walkers (unlike the slap-happy approach in the Auckland Marathon)

Bads
*No acknowledgement of 3rd place getters (very very naughty!)
* No prizes for junior runners or walkers.
* Not nearly enough encouragement of competition ( too much emphasis on spot prizes)

Stand Out Perfomance for me:
My good friend Gary polishing off his first distance walk in 2:19:25. Fantastic!

Well done also to all the Calliopians who competed in both run and walk.

Sadly Maurice Hanvey did not compete. One day Maurice... one day!

But last word to Benjamin Franklin:

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Heartaches by the number, troubles by the score ....

Now there's a real problem to solve!


It is exam time gain in old Nu Zulun.









Tens of thousands of young kids will be sitting their NCEA (National Certificate in Education Achievement).

This Friday, November 20, sees the NCEA level 1 maths units being sat. I have been helping some young friends prepare for theirs. Quite frankly, I am appalled at the sheer inanity of some of the questions. Read this and weep! No wonder so many youngsters see maths as fairly irrelevant to their lives.

I don’t like NCEA. In the case of maths it subdivides it into a bunch of highly discrete skills which may or may not be elected by a student. Consequently they leave school with:

1. No unified conception of mathematics and;

2. No conviction of its relevance to their lived experience.

As a result of NCEA, Mathematics has been served up in an utterly piecemeal fashion. As a consequence it has become more fragmented, decontextualised and immaterial to youngsters concerns. This is especially the case with algebra and algebraic reasoning.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am an enormous fan of algebra – always have been. But how often, in connection with algebra, have we heard the refrain: “when am I ever going to use this” and how often is the only hollow reply “it will help you to think logically”. Well, maybe.

Necessary, but hardly sufficient.

It is time for maths teachers and examiners to step up to the mark and show clearly the relevance of algebra. And, my friends, relevant it indeed is.

So throw away the veneer of authenticity that assessors try to give to problems. Ground maths in the pungent realities of lived experience and demonstrate the inordinate power of mathematics to pattern and model those realities.

That could include cross-country running. There's a tonne of maths that could arise out of this kind of data.


 Click here for: Some more of my thoughts on this subject

A man grinding out a quadratic equation.

As has been said, "Mathematics, like life, was never meant to be a spectator sport!"




___________________________

How is the air up there …?

I personally blame runners for global warming. All that carbon dioxide they blow out as they huff and puff around the streets.

It is a climate crime of unprecedented proportions.

Talk about a carbon footprint folks!

Every atmospheric disturbance or natural disaster these days seems to be attributed to anthropogenic ( human made) global warming. And my goodness, I have smelt some atmospheric disturbances in my time!

So it was good to see the NZ Herald yesterday allow Chris de Freitas a little space to refute some of these claims. Chris is an associate professor in the School of Environment at Auckland University. Here is his article.

It takes a brave independent scientist these days to stand up to the rhetoric associated with the IPCC (Inter-governmental Panel on Climate Change). Such scientists can be view as heretics and “climate change deniers”. They are not of course – they simply challenge what the current hegemonic discourse sees as the causes or drivers of climate change.

It is a sad day for science as governments interfere in research, or even worse demand certain foreordained or predestined research results.

And of course much of the rhetoric on global warming comes because of an appeal to suspect climate models (mathematically formulated) rather than an appeal to the empirical facts. By tweaking the parameters you can make the model come up with the predictions you want regardless of the empirical work done by proper scientists worldwide.

Goodness gracious great balls of fire …

Yes indeed, I once had a short dalliance with the beautiful game.

As a wee fella, I competed in a football team - Birkenhead 9C. It was the year after I brought my very short inconspicuous rugby career to an abrupt end. I was a hopeless rugby player (and that is being very generous in the extreme).

I sought out rounder and more predictable balls.

So to the beautiful game I turned for solace and into the waiting arms of Birkenhead 9C.

Birkenhead 9C lost every game that year, but one – and that game we drew.

Once again, a football career of utter inconsequentiality came to a grinding halt.

Thus, after a year with Birkenhead 9C, I abandoned association football and took to more the individualistic pursuits of track and field and cross-country running.

My father was a keen and extremely useful football player. His first love, however, was cricket at which he excelled in his younger days.

Had he been alive today, he would have been delighted to see New Zealand football back on the map (as they say).

Well done … All Whites!

The beautiful game might finally get a decent airing in the country after so many years on the back burner.

Early one morning, just as the sun was rising....

There are times when I have to question the sanity of some of my race walking friends.
I have had a number of emails lately inviting me to join friends in a training stint on Saturday morning.


One was to begin at 6 am. Another (not to be outdone) was for 5 am.

Now, I am not a late riser.

I am happily up and bouncing about by 7:30 on a Saturday and ready for a training spin at 8:30 or 9.

I draw the line at 6 am. Even with my running pals we start at 8 am. And 5 am is  positively unhealthy.

Now I have my reasons, and they are not simply related to a love of being flat on my back at 5 am.

There is another reason. These early morning stints tend to be long walks of between 20 and 30 km.

Now, I find this managable - but they do leave me somewhat knackered. And I do not like spending the rest of my Saturday knackered.

I would rather go out later and spend less time knackered.

That's why the lady is a champ ....

There is nothing like a level playing field. And that my friends is just what the Bill Taylor Trophy event offers at Calliope.

It is a series of races ,where your age and gender is taken into account. The series consists of 1x800m, 1x1500m and 2x3000m races.

It is all made possible by the wonders of the Howard Grubb age-grading factors calculator.

And yes folks ... here is a link to that very calculator.

"How does it work?" I hear you ask. Well the first event up in the series this Wednesday is a 1500.

Now let's say you are female and 41 years old and you run 5:35 for the 1500. You will score a percentage of 74.12% (don't forget to click the F button!).

And don't go all wobbly at the knees because a little maths is involved!

Let's say we have a male of 59 who runs 5:58 for the 1500. He will score 72.73% and thus the female is the champ in this scenario.

She has run comparatively better taking into account the factors of age and gender.

Simple as that folks. But wait there's more ....

Even walkers can compete!! Garrison at 56 walks 1500 in 9:15 (walking properly that is - not like those cheats in the Auckland Marathon!!).

He scores 67.33%

So you can bet your bottom dollar that the Calliope track will be crowded with folks of all genders and ages this Wednesday night.

Your cheating heart will tell on you!!

Attention
Mr Maurice Hanvey ... but more on this later ....





“Did you do the Auckland Marathon?” has been a question put to me a number of times this week.


My answer in brief: No.

Why not they ask?

Too early.

Too many people.

Too many people not adequately prepared.

Too many people who only enter to run or walk over the bridge.

Too crooked with too many people who run when they entered as a walker and claim times they ought not be entitled to. However this slack attitude is in fact encouraged by the organizers of the race and I quote "Walkers who choose to run at times during their chosen event on the day (and vice versa) are not penalised."

Too many people who start near the front when they know they are going to run or walk at the speed of an Amazonian sloath

Too many people seen entering the toilets at Okahu Bay and using them as the turning around point in the marathon (somewhat short of St Heliers, I would have thought!). Mind you it is probably good that these slow sloaths do so, or search parties might have to be sent out.

I hear that the winner of the men’s half marathon walk was one Maurice Hanvey (in the 60-64 age group) in a time of 1:39:09. Now Maurice, I am sugessting that either you ran all the way, or even more likely, you had your wife give you a pair of roller skates. There were of course many others with ridiculous times as you can see.

Now, Maurice Hanvey, I personally challenge you to a properly judged walk over a mere 10 km. If you beat me I will give you $100 and withdraw my innuendos. If I beat you, you simply confess to your indiscretion.

Now a 1:39:09 half marathon means you would go through the 10 km mark in about 47:30.

I bet you cannot break 58 mins for 10 km!!!!!

Friends of Mr Hanvey, please alert him to this offer!!

Oh and here is Maurice's photos in the race gosh he is a young looking man for being in his 60s!!
Pictures of  60-year old Maurice Walking!!! The One in Blue!!

Everything is beautiful, in its own way ….

I have a love-hate relationship with Plato.

William Blake in his Auguries of Innocence perhaps picks up the theme best:

“To see a world in a grain of sand,


And a heaven in a wild flower,


Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,


And eternity in an hour”.

The great Buddhist/Christian Thich Nhat Han says something similar:

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child -- our own two eyes. All is a miracle.”

Or perhaps the Paul the Apostle:

"In god we live and move and have our being."

Back to Plato, from whom I take it that if we look deeply enough into the most "common" of things we penetrate the barrier between the phenomenal and the noumenal worlds. We see the beauty that is within us is also within that which we gaze upon.

Idealism or realism?

Two for tea and tea for two ...

When I am not running or race walking, I have a small interest in mathematics education.

My interest is focussed particularly on adult maths education - hence my other blog.

Of course a key word here is numeracy. These days one is likely to hear politicians like John Key and Anne Tolley wax eloquently about "literacy and numeracy".

What then is numeracy say compared to mathematics as we know it?

For me two key ideas stand out.

Firstly, it means to use maths confidently and appropriately in the rich and varied contexts of everyday life: home, shopping, the workplace, the sports field and dealing critically with the abundance of numerical and statistical information that bombards us via the mass media.

Secondly, it means to have deep understanding of basic mathematical concepts and how they relate to each other. This means much more than simply applying memorised rules.

Now I wonder if Key of Tolley could answer this following problem:

A woman has a small swimming pool. Three taps provide water for the pool.

The green tap can fill the pool in 2 hours. The red tap can fill the pool in four hours. The black tap can fill the pool in 8 hours.

How long does it take to fill the pool if all three taps are on at the same time?

Answers please.

Here is the full solution to the problem.  Solution

The seasons come and go, but in my heart I know ...

Calliope is officially called the Calliope Athletic and Harrier Club.

The very title is a reminder of the seasons that come and go even for this club which has been around for some 79 years now.

The word Harrier refers to the winter activities of the club: cross-country and road running. The origin of the word harrier is most likely the Middle English hayrer of 1408 (a small hunting dog). Though some argue, when it comes to runners, the word is related to the animal the hare.

Of course, the answer is that the dog was named harrier because among the animals it pursued was the hare.

The word athletic refers to the summer events which take place on and around an track. Thus, the word “Athletic” could to some extent be replaced by “Track and Field”.

Any hoo, The athletic season for Calliope began last Wednesday evening, 6:15. October 28th, at the Osborne Memorial Park, Mahara Ave, Birkenhead.

The children's section of the Club begins Monday, November 2nd at 5 pm.

Here is the season's programme for seniors and master's athletics on Wednesday nights

…when stout-hearted men stick together man to man …

Folks, it was only a matter of time …

700 men have sworn an oath to Brian Tamaki – a binding, unbreakable, irrevocable oath. And oh the bru ha ha!!!
What surprises me is nothing.

Of course, it is interesting in the light of the simple words of the Jesus:

Matthew chapter 5:

"34 But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36 And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37 Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one."
 
Enough said ...

He remains an Englishman .. he remains an Eng, eng eng eng lish man....

It has all the hallmarks of a party political broadcast.


The elections can’t be that close … I thought to myself!

Tempus fugit indeed.

Yes, that’s what I thought, the first time ever I saw the advert-come-promo on TV One for this up-and-coming-programme on Free View Channel TVNZ SEVEN.

The Economy in Plain English.

And indeed Bill’s newslutter also goes by the title “Plain English”.

I thank TV One for the warning. I really do! I find young Bill not to be one of the great orators of all time. He suffers from CDD (Charisma Deficit Disorder).

Bills finishes the promo with the immortal lines:
 
"We're nearly through the tough times and things are looking up ... together, us Kiwis can do it."


Riveting stuff!!!

Eat ya heart out Churchill!

What did the crowd think of Bill's speech?

Pass the maxigesic round

Climb every mountain ...till you find your dream ...

I wonder if Julie Andrews is a jogger? The opening scene of the Sound of Music sees her running up a mountain.

Calliope had its final harrier event of the winter season: King and Queen of the Mountain. This involves an insane uphill road run from Chelsea Sugar  to just short of Mokoia Road in Birkenhead.

Over 30 runners and walkers from all over gathered at the bottom of the hill. They set off on their tortuous agonizing  journeys at 5 second intervals (as you do).

Between 5 and 12 minutes later, depending on their respective speeds, people arrive (breasts heaving) at the top.

Now, to change tack slightly. Maths Class!!

1. The first person left at 0 secs, and we went at 5 sec intervals. I started at 1 min 40 secs. So what number person was I?

2. At what time did the 29 th person start, if the first person started at 6:45 pm?

3. My recorded time at the finish was 7 min 46 secs. What was my actual time?

4. The distance up the hill was 1.2 km, What was my average speed? (km/hr)

Please offer your answers in the comments.

These questions demonstrate just one example of how numeracy is buried within sports and PE. So, I cannot quite understand why the Ministry if Education sees numeracy and PE as alternatives in its latest pronouncements.

It seems to me, that contrary to the Ministry's stance, the Arts, Science and PE offer rich contexts for the development of reading writing and maths "skills".

After all, one has to read something, one has to write something, and in the end maths that can't be applied in life and work is fairly pointless.

So, why not let the youngsters develop these skills in contexts that really interest them?

And of course they must run up the hill first - whooops there goes the obesity problem!

That's why darling its incredible that someone so unforgettable ...

I read the results, and I was, as they say, gobsmacked ...

A sporting achievement of world shattering proportions has passed under the radar screen down here in Nu Zulun!

One Sala Vaega completed the Sir Barry Curtis 10 km walk in 37:22. Yes indeed, that is 37 min and 22secs. Check the results here! If you don't believe me.

The lady competed in the female 35-39 division. Considering that the world record for men is is 37:53 set by Francisco Javier Fernandez, the mind simply boggles at this perfomance by Vaega.
 
It seems the Pakaranga Athletic Club are unaware of the significance of Vaega's unbelievable time.
 
Such an acheivement, I can assure you, would not go unnoticed at Calliope.
 
This women, it appears, beat New Zealand Commonwealth Games silver medalist, Tony Sargisson and 4 times British champion Mike Parker.
 
You know, I can't help but feel that something is not quite right .... especially when a google search resulted in no hits for Sala Vaega racewalker.
 
Dare I say it ... could it possibly be that perhaps she ran ?????

How much is that doggie in the window ....

I have never owned a dog.

Many of my friends do and I am struck by the affection they hold for their animals. I am struck too by the profound grief they feel at the loss of their pet.

What is it about dogs that make them the most human-like of all animals (apes included)? After all, your average dog is 99% wolf. It is essentially a pack animal. The task of the dog owner is to be leader of the pack

We humans have taken the wolf and domesticated it. We have bred and crafted an amazing variety of shapes and sizes of canines. And, I can’t help but feel, we have created them in our own image.

I guess that is part of the reason, they are so loved.

Here’s a poem read at a tangi recently for a beloved lost puppy.

“There is one best place to bury a dog.
 If you bury him in his spot, he will
come to you when you call – come to you

over the grim, dim frontier of death,

and down the well-remembered path,

and … to your side again. And though you call a dozen living

dogs to heel, they shall not growl at

him, nor resent his coming,

for he belongs there. People may scoff at you, who see

no lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall, who hear no wimper, people

who may never really have had a dog.

Smile at them, for you shall know

something that is hidden from them.”

One day I shall get a dog.

Opportunity, opportunity, this is your big opportunity. They shop around ...

Bus drivers' lockout + racewalker = extra training.


Every crisis, “they” say, is an opportunity. I just hope “they” aint too obese to walk a little in these testing times.

With the Kerikeri half marathon less than 6 weeks away, this lockout of the bus drivers by NZ Bus alias infratil has come just at the right time! Thank you Zane Fulljames. Thank you Mr and Mrs Fulljames, parents of Zaney.

Bet ya bottom dollar young Zane Fulljames doesn’t catch one of his buses to work. He probably doesn't have a grandmother (Nana Fulljames) who relies on buses to do her shopping.

Anybody whose everybody will be competing in this Kerikeri event. Who knows, maybe even Zane Fulljames may compete.

Back to the opportunity theme: “They” also say ….

Every challenge is an opportunity

Diversity is an opportunity

Disagreement is an opportunity to show love….

Every problem is an opportunity for a creative solution

Fiscal crisis is an opportunity to fight corruption

Every threat is an opportunity

But this last one I do like!!!

2,433 unreadmails is an opportunity for an entrepreneur.

Now ya talkin my language! I wonder if Zane Fulljames is getting many emails these days - hope he got mine!

Full speed ahead James and don't spare the horses!* Or was it dam the torpedoes and full speed ahead!


* Queen Victoria actually said "Home James and don't spare the horses".

Through all kinds of weather, what if the skies may fall, just as long as we’re together ….

The great thing about doing the first leg in a relay is that you get to sit back afterwards and observe everyone else suffer. Now please note! I did not say ‘enjoy everyone else suffer’.

The tough thing about the first leg is that this is the leg most like a race. This is quite unlike the last leg where the field is maximally spread out.

Enough already ….. Let’s cut to the quick. The Calliope men’s team won the men's race walk section of the K•SWISS Rotorua Ekiden on Saturday. The Calliope women's team was second in their section.

The results for the Calliope men.

Conditions were somewhat less than clement. Yours truly was lucky. He had the wind in his sails for a good part of the first lap. Alas, other team members had to engage a barkingly cold, snarling wind head-on as they slowly, grimacingly, lap-by-aching-lap circuited Lake Rotorua. (Wew! You might need to read that again! And feel the pain this time!)

Having established a 3 min 30 seconds lead on the next team in the first lap, I had to sit in the van and watch with all the empathy I could muster, the quiet, lonely, inexorable suffering of my team mates.

It would have brought me to tears, had I been one given to flights of emotion.

Later that evening, much of the suffering was assuaged with assorted beverages which supplied a strange, calm, healing effect.

Meanwhile, down in Christchurch, another Calliope team did gladiatorial battle in the Takahe-Akaroa relay.

Conditions in this more southerly relay were, I am told, “atrocious” and that many of the team barely survived. They underwent environmental factors that would literally freeze the brass off a bald-headed monkey (or something of the sort).

How can one club endure so much suffering you ask?

I am afraid, I have no simple answer. I suspect senile dementia comes closest to the truth.

Regrettably, this team came away with no prize except their self respect intact. They also have the sure and certain knowledge that running up hill causes immediate pain, and running downhill causes a delayed agony.





By the way, if you feel you would like to run or walk with Calliope, then join us at our clubrooms: Osborne Memorial Park, Mahara Ave, Birkenhead.
Wednesday nights, 6:30.

In your running or walking, you will no longer suffer alone! (However, you may still be barmy!)

In this world of darkness, so let us shine, you in your small corner .....

Every now and then, you encounter Jesus.

I got a glimpse of Jesus last night in the face of Shinkee Chung (Daniel). Daniel is a taxi driver who every Sunday feeds the homeless and hungry in Latimer Square, Christchurch. He spends over $250 of his hard-earned cash.

Here’s the video clip from TV3

The cynic might say, some of them take advantage of Daniel. Daniel simply calls these folk "his precious friends .... his family".

Daniel is "a man in whom there is no guile" for he sees no deviousness in those he serves.

It is in Daniel and people like him we encounter the true Jesus - not in ornate churches and repetitive religious ritual - not in demanding dogmas and crumbling creeds.

The apostle Paul said "we encounter God in the face of Jesus". I would add we encounter Jesus in the face of Daniel (Shinkee) Chung.

I also encounter Jesus in the faces of the many friends who offer me a helping hand along the way ... if you are reading this, you know who you are.

Singin in the rain, singin in the rain, what a glorious feeling …

The first weekend in October was decidedly wet in Auckland town Nu Zulun. My friend Mike is preparing for a 50 km walk on the 25th of October. On Saturday morning, he went out for a 4 hour training stint. I joined him for a 12 km section of it. He had already been on his feet for 1 hour 25 minutes when he spun past my place.

We mused together on things as we walked. Both agreed on a Tua win if the fight finished early.

We reflected too, on just how much a long training stint is about mental toughness.

With up-and-coming Keri Keri half marathon in mind, I stepped out the next days into a rainy Sunday morning for a 20 km effort. I had been delaying the inevitable - looking vainly for a break in the weather. But by ten oclock, any clearance seemed only a remote possibility, so I steeled myself, donned a parker, gritted my teeth and hit the road.

It was a glorious feeling - that last 3km - body shattered, clothing drenched, wind-in-your face stuff. But oh, the sense of mastery over that other "self" that had wanted to just cozy up on the couch and watch another episode of M*A*S*H.

Home again, triumphant! Hot shower. Now where was that M*A*S*H episode where Father Mulcahy runs 12 mile to raise money for the orphanage?

Photo courtesy of www.freefoto.com

Around the world I searched for you ...

Imagine running more than three times around the world!

I’ll get to that in a moment.

John Dwyer (pictured here in the middle) and a few friends recently celebrated his 50th year in running over a quiet beer or two. I have never known why people talk about “having a few quiet ones”.

There was nothing quite about these beers. John had gathered up a lavish supply of exotic beers, and set them before us. We (Hugh, Bill, Tyrell, Bruce, big Ray, small Ray, Murray and myself), like boys in the candy shop, selected beers which probed the very limits of alcoholic intensity. John regaled us with stories of his 50 year running career.

John commenced his running exploits with the North Otago in the halcyon days of the late fifties. He moved from there to Canterbury University (1961), Wellington Harriers (1965), New Plymouth (1966), Auckland University (1971) and finally Calliope by 1974. Calliope has been over the years, of course, the natural goal for many a talented athlete.

Having had already been in the club for 10 years by 1974, I remember well John’s first appearance and the exhilaration that rippled through the ranks.

John is a quintessential historian, and the records he has kept, down to the most minute detail prove this. He tells us he has, up until 28/09/2009, covered 123,896 km, over 12,081 days for an average of 10.25 km per running day.

Now folks, almost 124 thousand kilometres is a long way! It bespeaks a certain level of addictive propensity to running!

Some facts I have calculated for John:

3.1 times around the globe.


One year and 2 months of actual running.


Weight loss of 1208 kg (1.2 tonne)

John has posted some pretty useful times over these 50 years:

220yd 24.5s 1964,   440yd 53.9s 1967,   880yd 1m 59.7s 1969,   1 mile 4m 21.9s 1968,   3 miles 14m 59.4s 1968,   5000m 15m 37s 1970,   6 miles 31m 36s 1969,   10,000m 33m 31s 1976 (Calliope Champs – lapping none other than the illustrious Rod Barker, and renowned track coach, Jack Ralston),   10 miles 52m 47s 1967,   Half Marathon 1hr 13m 48s 1968,   Marathon 2hr 42m 32s 1968.

For a more comprehensive account of John’s efforts : A fuller record of John’s achievements

Though John won't see 65 again, he is contemplating yet greater running exploits. Another short spin around the globe John?

We were rough and ready guys, but oh how we could harmonize…..

Yet another semi-distinguished Nu Zulun sporting event will be held this Wednesday on the North Shore of Auckland.

It is indeed none other than the Eyres Teams’ Race – a race synonymous with athletic excellence and harmonious esprit de corps.

None of your untidy-schoolboy-rugby scrapping here folks.


Back in 1966, at the tender and impressional age of 16, I was in the winning team. Now 43 years on, "older but no wiser", I shall front up again.


The Eyres Teams’ trophy was given to the club by AH (Peter) Eyre featured in the above photo of the official opening run of the Calliope Club on July12, 1930. He’s the gentleman in the middle with the white stripe on his shorts.


The venue for the event has changed over the years. For many years it involved a lap of Lake Pupuke, a distance of fractionally over 6 km. The present course is in a refined and sequestered part of Birkenhead and involves three laps of a 1.78 km course (thus 5.34 km).


It is a sealed handicap event which means that all the finely tuned athletes will toe the starting line together. In days of old, each runner was given a handicap and the teams were drawn by ballot. After the race, the handicaps were subtracted from the times and team totals were tallied to reveal the winning combination.

These days the handicapper has devised a way of making things more competitive. Everyone is ranked as usual with estimated times, but the handicaps are done on placing positions (team as a whole) and in that way towards the finish there is an incentive to pass someone as that runner gains a place and the other runner loses a place. And the placings make all the difference. Then if there is a tie on place points, as there usually is, it is taken on estimated total time for team versus the actual time.

It is all very scientific!


And I shall being running scientifically as I do every year in this event. My running efforts will ebb and flow in rhythm with the varying terrain of this undulating course.


There is one short uphill section, where I invariably break into a walk. This is to strategically nurture my resources for the long, gentle downhill section that follows.

Here is a map of the course.

Who knows where the road made lead us only a fool can say ……

Real runners don’t run on treadmills, unless injury affords them no other choice. The idea of a treadmill is anathema to a real runner. The runner has a romance above all with the long and winding road.

There is a love affair too with bush tracks. The trouble with a treadmill is – you don’t go anywhere. It is a synthetic run.

For the older runner, the training run presents a unique challenge. The first 2 kilometres are hard – getting the body warm and into rhythm once again. You battle through a thousand incremental aches. Then it all becomes worth it. The endorphins kick in – the aches and pains subside.

The half way point is psychologically crucial. You turn for home. Strangely, the greatest part is finishing. There is always a sense of elation.

Why run? To lose weight? To get fit? To build bone density? To have a healthy heart? Well maybe.

All and none of the above.

Perhaps it is best summed up by the phrase – “the runners high”.

“Running, one might say, is basically an absurd pastime upon which to be exhausting ourselves. But if you can find meaning in the type of running you need to do ... chances are you'll be able to find meaning in that other absurd pastime - LIFE."

- Bill Bowerman in "Without Limits" -

"For me, running is a lifestyle and an art. I’m far more interested in the magic of it than the mechanics."

- Lorraine Moller, Olympic Marathoner-

More running quotes

This is my 100th entry. I dedicate it to all my running and race walking pals.

I see the stars .... I hear the rolling thunder ..

It is the only appropriate opening for today. There are few entertainers who can take a song already widely in circulation and put their indelible stamp on it. Sinatra did it with "New York New York" which was released by Liza Minnelli in 1977 before Blue Eyes drove it to the top in 1979. Here is the great version by Bennett and Sinatra.

How Great Thou Art has, of course, been around much longer. It has been a staple in the diet of American evangelical Christianity since it was first penned. It origins date back to the 19th century.

George Beverly Shea made it famous in the Billy Graham meetings as millions converted to Christ in the 50s and 60s – not the least one Harry Roger Web, better known as Cliff Richard. Elvis sang it, but I am fairly sure that Sinatra did not.

But it was Howard Morrison who really put his stamp on it, especially with the addition of Maori Lyrics. In the olden days, there was, and perhaps still is, that slippery genre called “Easy Listening”. It was under that sign on the shelf, you were likely to find the likes of Sinatra and Howard Morrison.

Howard Morrison was the epitome of easy listening. Like Sinatra, he could take a song and infiltrate with his unique emotional energy. Like Sinatra, he could have the audience in the palm of his hand. Like Sinatra, he had that thing that makes all the difference on stage – Charisma.

It is therefore quite appropriate that in 2002 Morrison released and album called “Old Brown Eyes”.

Though the way be long, let your heart beat strong …

Usain Bolt has to run hard for 9 and a half seconds or in the case of 200 metres, just over 19 seconds. Haile Gebrselassie has to lay it on the line for 2hours and 5 minutes. Who is the greater athlete?

Well, as I have said before, the question ought not be asked. But we sadly have to start choosing. I think they offer a fitting contrast; of youth with maturity, of speed with endurance.

Usain is a new boy on the block; Haile has been around forever it seems and has a string of titles, gold medals and world records that leave the everyday athlete (like yours truly) gobsmacked.
Gebrselassie won the Berlin marathon, yet again. It was the current world record-holder’s fourth straight win.

A little known movie called “endurance” was put out about his life. I have it on video. To see the guy’s background in basic poverty makes you admire him all the more. However, the movie itself was somewhat tedious and disneyish. Hopefully, something much more worthy of the great man will yet be produced.

I have only run two marathons. I am glad I did. I have no intention of running any more. The half marathon is quite sufficient thanks. Everyone who can should give it a go once. When you hit the wall with 6 km to go, you learn stuff about yourself, you could never learn otherwise.

I wonder if Usain Bolt will ever run a marathon. I hear Gerbrselassie has runs loads of 100 and 200 meters.

Oh my friend we’re older but no wiser, for in our hearts the dreams are still the same …

I first joined Calliope at the age of 14 in 1964. I rejoined in 2005 to confront my some 85 kgs and a seriously flabby midriff. So I have had an association with the club spanning 45 years.

The photos you see span something of those years: in this case 1972 to 2005.

They show some changes (spot the difference).

The change from colour to black and white.

The change from New Balance to Puma.

The change in uniform

And as Cole Porter would say “how strange the change from major to minor”

I am about 4 kg heavier than I was then, but oh so much slower.

Oh and this Cole Porter is for Chris from a favourite of yours!

Words are all she had to steal our hearts away ….

She had what could only be described as a pseudo-American accent – the sort a Kiwi might fain after spending a month or two States-side.

She sat at the back of the bus with her friend, leg draped over the seat in front. She made sure that the entire bus was completely privy to her side of the very one-sided conversation. In between coughing fits, we learned of her boyfriend, relationship hassles, and the dog that ate snail-bait.

Her lines were peppered with that word that signifies a youthful conversation – “like”; It was like …. He was like, and I was like almost like ready like to like laugh.

She bore on like a drill; coughing and “liking”. The rest of the bus settled down to one of those trips home assaulted by trivia and banality. Was it deliberate or was she slightly deaf? Was it a subconscious longing to be heard? And a bus is a captive audience.

Her interlocutor got the occasional word in and she seem to understand the social conventions of appropriate- loudness -when - conversing- on- a-bus.

She got off before my stop, and the bus recovered a sense of serenity. I could feel it smile.

From the redwood forest to the gulf steam waters …

The great Nu Zulun sporting event this last weekend was not the Tri Nations. It was, contrary to some popular opinion, the Red Stag relay run through the redolent redwood trees in Rotorua.
It was a day that drizzled off and on.

The course was, in spite of this, reasonable firm underfoot. It was flat for the first almost 3 km. Then the runner (or walker) was confronted by a demanding hill, which went on forever it seemed. The final section held some treachery with tree roots lying in waiting to twist unstable ankles. My performance was solid, but not up to my recent best.

Estimated times had to be put in before the event. This the club handicapper did. And hats off to the handicapper for his accuracy.

Every running or walking club has a handicapper. It is a thankless task. The handicapper is invariably subject to the scorns and arrows of those who feel hard done by. “I can’t run that fast … why have I been given such a hard handicap?”

This was a day in which the handicapper was vindicated and all moaning mouths put to silence.

It was my birthday on the Sunday. Rumour has it that I was still up at the midnight hour on Saturday enjoying the delights of Rotorua.

Another opening of another show …

It is relay season in old Nu Zulun for runners and walkers. This weekend’s show is the Red Stag Relay in Rotorua. It is billed as an event “through the towering redwoods”.

As I gaze out of my window, the drizzle is palpable in Auckland town and I suspect these will be the conditions to greet us among those towering redwoods.

When I say us, I mean the 30 or so semi-distinguished Calliope athletes who will compete in the relay of 5 km laps.

In some cases, the athletes in question are probably more semi-extinguished. Many bear the scars of years of competition.

Indeed, there are two Calliopians who are featured in this photo above (from the very early seventies). We two, who will be competing in tomorrow's Red Stag some 40 years on are: yours truly and the towering figure of Bill Fell.

~~

I say 'towering' because Bill Fell has come to be known as Mr Calliope'. The title reflects Bill's incredible service to the club for forty years.

~~

The Red Stag event is perhaps one of the softer options on the season's relay menu. It's gentle, undulating, almost soporific 5 km laps hardly compare with the demanding, body numbing, hilly 10 km laps that other relays offer. Hence, I avoid such events.

~~

~~

The Red Stag is a far more reasonable humanizing event, with the relay a seeming short interlude among the thrills and epicurean delights on offer on a spring weekend in Rotorua.

I may be right, I may be wrong, but I’m perfectly willing to swear …

The Bible is a fascinating book. I have read it.

It contains some of the most sublime utterances and also some of the most patently inhuman. It is believed by many to be literally, word for word, the WORD of God. So, it is strange that it has spawned so many versions of Christianity. Associated with these versions are over 38,000 different denominations and a vast range of interpretations.

It is believed by many, as I say, to be the plain word of God, yet it is the most annotated book in the world. Indeed, commentaries that have been written on the Bible are innumerable.

Perhaps the saddest thing is the literalism that many impose upon the text. This unbridled literalism has in turn spawned a phenomenon called “Creation Science”. However, creation science (whatever you may think of it) fails the one key test of what science is about – the possibility of falsifiability. The point that Karl Popper made so well. True science rests on empricism not authoritarianism. The true spirit of science is to try and prove the hypothesis wrong! This is the thing a so-called "creation scientist" is utterly loathe to do.

I find the first few chapters of Genesis captivating and extremely enlightening on the human condition – all the more so, because I do not take them literally. Most fascinating is the stuff about the tree of the knowledge of “good and evil”. It wasn’t an apple that Eve ate by the way. Nowhere does it mention apple. In Hebrew, apparently, it was also known as the tree of conscience.

Read it sometime. To me, it marks a shift from an undifferentiated unity to a dualism – from a unity to an alienation. It marks a movement from the divine towards the human.

Of course the greatest character of the Bible is the man from Narareth - Yeshua or Jesus - the one in whom the divine and the human are once again unified.

.... that as you turned and smiled at me, a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square.