But if baby I'm the bottom, you're the top ...

The undoubted highlight of the Calliope Club's track season is the club championships.

They begin on Wednesday 10th February - so pencil them in folks!

A few basic rules apply - ya gotta be a paid-up bona fide club member wearing a club uniform. And there is one more rule about the minimum number of events you must compete in ... but I forget that so watch this space for that ...

The club champs have a certain decathlon feel to them. Cos to become club champ (male and female) you have to have accumulated as many points as possible. You do this by competing in as many events as you can (1 point for entering and finishing folks) and of course more points for the winner and place getters.

Unlike the decathlon, the events are held over a number of successive Wednesdays.

For men, the events are: 100, 200, 400, 800, 1500, 5000 and 10,000 metres together with the high jump, long jump, triple jump, shot put, discus and javelin. No hammer and pole vault (thank goodness). Oh, yes ... and no hurdles (again thank goodness) - don't let the photo mislead you!!

For women, the events are: 100, 200, 400, 800, 1500, and 3000 plus of course the field events aforementioned.

Here is the full programme.

So the big question is: who will be the tops? It will probably be me! and Geoff could be second.

Cole Porter suggested a number of symbols for the TOPS in his song. He also suggested some images of the loser including a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop! A touch of viagra anyone?

Well dear reader, I am proud to say that no Calliopian who competes can be deemed a flop.

So once more into the breach dear friends! To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield and all that Jaaaazzz! (Sorry Bill and Alfred)

Did you ever know that you're my hero, and everything I would like to be?

The names on a club's trophies in a sense celebrate the sporting heros of that club ... but more on that later ....

The track and field programme at Calliope is now in full swing folks.

Wednesday Jan 27th sees the running of the Tim Hutchings 1500 metre trophy event at the Calliope athletic Club. A crowd of proportions is expected for this long anticipated epic dual among the top track stars at the club.

The Tim Hutchings Trophy is one of the newer cups amongst the clubs collection. Unlike the Bill Taylor Trophy which is age and gender graded, this race is a purely scratch event. Also it is a one off event; whereas the Bill Taylor is held over four events. I have waxed eloquently on this before.

Tim Hutchings was a  top UK athlete, who spent a period in New Zealand in the 1980's and, not surprisingly, had an association with the famous Calliope Club. He is featured here on the Sporting Heros site.

After his retirement Tim became a TV commentator for many of the great world athletic events.

Here is a photo of Tim running in the 5000 m at the AAA championships in 1986.

The 1500 will consist of 5 laps of the 300 metre track at the Osborne Memorial Park in Birkenhead.

For most of the 20th century it was the mile that captured the imagination of the public, particularly as it was associated with the 4 minute barrier.

So the 1500 came to be known as the metric mile, although it is around 109.3 metres short of the full mile distance.

The world record for the 1500 is 3:26 set by Hicham El Guerrouj in 1998. Here is a patchy view of the race.

I suspect there will be no attempt at this world record at Calliope on Wednesday night!

And contrary to some false reports, Zindal Osgood will not be making a comeback to act as pacemaker - so please put that entirely ridiculous rumour to rest folks.

Food glorious food …there’s nothing quite like it .. when you’re in the mood …

 Like some of you aspiring amateur chefs, I too have been watching Master Chef: The Professionals over the Christmas break.

Made a wonderful change from Sainsbury’s slackening jowls Close Up, I must say.

But I was, Frankly, disappointed. Night after night, I waited for that great English iconic dish to be on the menu - Tripe and Onions.

I wanted to see how the eventual winner Derek Johnstone might turn out a Traditional Michelin Star Quality dish of Tripe and Onions.

The trouble is the mere sight of a dish of Tripe and Onions on the TV screen can set some viewers with dainty stomachs to serious Volcanic-like gagging.

Indeed, perhaps one or two of my dear readers are gagging right now at the mere thought of such a sight.

That is why, out of the kindness of my heart, I am not posting a picture of the treasured dish! Rather, I simply give you this helpful link to a picture of Tripe and Onions. Made with, yes you guessed it: Tripe and Onions ( I figure you know what an onion looks like!)

It is kind of like maths. People either love or hate Tripe and Onions.

I love Tripe and Onions (and maths). There is nothing more delightful than the keen sense of a piece of well-cooked tripe slithering down the back of one's throat - heaven!

And if you can be solving a nice piece of calculus at the same time .....

And to my delight, I have discovered that the Elliott-Bateman Curry Kitchen now make a Tripe and Onions in a white parsley sauce, available in New World Supermarkets folks.

BON APPETIT!

Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea ...

I have a penchant for karaoke. So do my Filipino friends.
So on the evening of New Years Day I joined these friends for a house warming.

After some food and a few beers, out came the karaoke equipment and a selection of what seemed like 10,000 choices of song.

And so we warbled into the night. I reserved my favourites and did Sinatra proud.

After the song, you get a percentage score. I kicked off with something in the early eighties. Tolerable.

We sang on passing the two microphones on like relay batons. Midway through proceedings the top score was 95% posted by one the these fine Filipino songsters.

It was time to pull out my secret weapon - the one song I knew I could count on!

PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON - It had never failed me before.

With confidence I took the microphone and intoned the Peter Paul and Mary classic.

99%  and well earned applause.

Trouble is, in the Philippines the number 99 carries great significance.

It basically means you are one sandwich short of a picnic, not the full deck, out to lunch, lights are on nobody home, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, a kangaroo loose in the top paddock .... if you get my drift.

But I am sure that is not true of me ... as you can see dear reader ...