But if baby I'm the bottom, you're the top ...

The undoubted highlight of the Calliope Club's track season is the club championships.

They begin on Wednesday 10th February - so pencil them in folks!

A few basic rules apply - ya gotta be a paid-up bona fide club member wearing a club uniform. And there is one more rule about the minimum number of events you must compete in ... but I forget that so watch this space for that ...

The club champs have a certain decathlon feel to them. Cos to become club champ (male and female) you have to have accumulated as many points as possible. You do this by competing in as many events as you can (1 point for entering and finishing folks) and of course more points for the winner and place getters.

Unlike the decathlon, the events are held over a number of successive Wednesdays.

For men, the events are: 100, 200, 400, 800, 1500, 5000 and 10,000 metres together with the high jump, long jump, triple jump, shot put, discus and javelin. No hammer and pole vault (thank goodness). Oh, yes ... and no hurdles (again thank goodness) - don't let the photo mislead you!!

For women, the events are: 100, 200, 400, 800, 1500, and 3000 plus of course the field events aforementioned.

Here is the full programme.

So the big question is: who will be the tops? It will probably be me! and Geoff could be second.

Cole Porter suggested a number of symbols for the TOPS in his song. He also suggested some images of the loser including a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop! A touch of viagra anyone?

Well dear reader, I am proud to say that no Calliopian who competes can be deemed a flop.

So once more into the breach dear friends! To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield and all that Jaaaazzz! (Sorry Bill and Alfred)